The Mama speaks...

When Josh and I first started trying to get pregnant, I read a book by Deepak Chopra called "Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives." This book outlined the steps to take during pregnancy to promote a healthy baby and create the perfect environment for starting life. I continued to research birth options and made BIG plans about how this or that was going to take place.
1. My dream was to have a completely unmedicated, natural birth before 2009.
2. My plan was to nurse our baby exclusively without any supplementation.
3. I wanted to use a pacifier, but not for the first two weeks.
4. I intended to keep our baby at home for at least 6 weeks to avoid exposure to germs.
5. The plan was for the baby to be with an in-home sitter for the Spring and then Josh was to quit working and be a stay-at-home dad.

What I have learned from my BIG plans is that nothing is in my control and everything works out for the best even if it wasn't my plan.

1. 2008 came and went and despite walking the block a million times and trying every other labor inducing trick in the book, I was still pregnant as I kissed Josh at midnight on Jan 1. In fact, several more days passed and nothing... My dreams of laboring at home and dashing to the hospital were quickly fading as we headed to our appointment, 2 days overdue. Dr. Smith was adament that we needed to induce the next day. So, I opened my heart to let go of that dream. I still had hopes of having an unmedicated birth and it was good to have a birth date finally.
Josh and I went into the hospital at 4:00am on Jan 6th and they started the pitocin to begin contractions. Dr. Smith came in and broke my water and I labored without incident for several hours. I have to say that the contractions were not unbearable. I was able to breathe and relax due to the yoga, massage, and relaxation techniques I had practiced during pregnancy. However, I wasn't prepared for the nausea and vomiting that soon began. (None of my books had mentioned that lovely side effect.) To counter these symptoms, the nurses gave me nausea medication, but the side effect of that was exhaustion. It is very hard to concentrate on labor pains when you can barely keep your eyes open. So, at 8 cm dialated I finally gave in and received my epidural, and it was a blessing that I did. As I drifted off to sleep allowing my body to finish dialating, it became clear that Lance's head was too big to pass through my pelvis without great risk of distress. So... it was decided that an emergency c-section was needed. Because of my epidural, I was set to go and Josh was able to be in the room. It was amazing to be side awake and yet people were cutting me open and pulling out a baby. Modern medicine really is a miracle. We had our perfect baby boy... My dreams of an unmedicated, natural birth were dashed, but the love of my life had arrived safely. God was in control.
2. Don't believe the books that say that nursing doesn't hurt because it does, at first. Lance is insatiable at times and in the first few days after coming home, the pediatrician suggested that I offer him formula to supplement nursing until my milk production could catch up. I was so worried that he would be spoiled by the easy flow of the bottle and not want to nurse anymore. However, I took the risk. Lance enjoys an occasional bottle, but still nurses furiously (practically all day long). This is a blessing because soon I will go back to work and he is ready to take his expressed milk from a bottle while I'm gone. Once again, God was in control.
3. Kinda like the bottle, I had read that using a pacifier too soon would interfere with breastfeeding, but on the third night in the hospital, Lance was gnawing me something fierce! The nurse brought us a pacifier at my request and he has been hooked ever since. It has been a life saver, but one thing is for sure... when he is hungry, that pacifier is not good enough! God was in control!
4. January and February are prime cold and flu season and the thought of dealing with a sick infant was not high on my list. So, I vowed to keep him quarantined to our home for at least 6 weeks. However, an ice storm at 3 weeks old shut off our power and drove us out of our home for a week. We stayed with my sister and her family. We are very thankful for their generosity and we all got along well. The hacking and coughing of their 2 year old has not seemed to adversely affect Lance, but it sure made me anxious for a week. I have to admit it was really nice to have my sister around to help with Lance and give me baby care advice. God was in control.
5. My original considerations for in-home sitting both became unavailable within the same week before Lance was born, so I started checking out daycares. It was an enlightening experience, but luckily a few days later we found a lady at our church who watches kids at her home who would be available. God was in control. But... then Josh came home early two weeks ago and I knew immediately that he had been laid off. This means that our plans for him to be a stay-at-home dad have been moved up. Financially this will be fine, not ideal, but fine. I just hope and pray that God is in control of my job and keeps me employed!

Despite all the dashed dreams, being a mom has been an incredible experience. Lance fits into our family perfectly. Even the kitty cats like him. I hear him fussing... my work is never done!

Katie