Car Seats on a Soap Box

I promised myself that I would not make this blog into multiple soap boxes. However, I must break my promise tonight. Lance is 6 1/2 weeks old, and he is a great baby. He sleeps 16+ hours per day and cries only when he is tired, needs to eat, or is overdue for a changing. That is until we have to strap him into a 5-point harness seat capable of surviving the force of a 60-mph head-on collision without the safety of an automobile.

Our lawmakers tend to go overboard when they force new legislation on us. Laws should be the basis level of morality for a society. Car seats, however, are a nuisance. I am only 27, but I remember the "unsafe" times I would ride in the back of my parents' 1979 Plymouth Volare. If my mother hit the brakes, I fell on the ground. It was fun! I lived to tell about it. I cannot name a soul who was lost due to a car wreck. Watching all the legislation regarding child safety seats, one would think auto collisions are the single leading cause of death among children. Perhaps we drivers should remove our distractions and focus on limiting wrecks. Do not talk on the cell phone while driving. Do not smoke while driving -- especially in a child-friendly car. Do not express your disdain for other drivers while on the road.

First, children had to be seat belted. Next, children and those in the front seat had to be seat belted. Next, everyone in the car had to be seat belted. Now, all children through middle school have to be in car seats and booster seats. By the time Lance is able to drive, he will have been in a child safety seat his entire life. When will the madness end?

Here's how our trips usually go. Katie and I draw straws over who has to fasten Lance into his seat. She probably has a trick to it, as I regularly draw the short straw. He screams as I try to ignore it. He kicks as I try to work around his squirrelly little limbs. I carry him and the seat to the car and drop it in its place (very carefully to not upset him further). He screams as Katie and I get into the car. He screams as we exit the driveway. He screams as Katie digs for the pacifier which he has dropped. He screams as she tries to find his mouth with the pacifier, since she can't see it from the passenger seat in front. He screams as she holds the pacifier to his face and shushes him. He quiets for a moment as Jack Johnson sings loudly on the radio -- but only for a moment. He screams as we arrive wherever we are going 15 minutes later. People adore him and love that he is so quiet when we go out. He is a great child, but he is also absolutely worn out, as are we, from the drive there.

I suddenly felt inspired to write this column due to a brief problem experienced tonight. Lance slept through a movie we attended at our local performing arts center. He was quite snug wrapped burrito style in his receiving blanket. It is about 20 degrees outside. I carried our sleeping son across the street to the car in the parking garage. I had to jostle him about and bolt him into his cold child safety seat. He screamed, and, in the words of President Clinton, I felt his pain. I fully understand that the car seat is detachable so I can carry it and my child. However, that adds 20 pounds and a great awkwardness to going anywhere. I must digress...

Next time... The Miracle of the Pacifier

The Mama speaks...

When Josh and I first started trying to get pregnant, I read a book by Deepak Chopra called "Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives." This book outlined the steps to take during pregnancy to promote a healthy baby and create the perfect environment for starting life. I continued to research birth options and made BIG plans about how this or that was going to take place.
1. My dream was to have a completely unmedicated, natural birth before 2009.
2. My plan was to nurse our baby exclusively without any supplementation.
3. I wanted to use a pacifier, but not for the first two weeks.
4. I intended to keep our baby at home for at least 6 weeks to avoid exposure to germs.
5. The plan was for the baby to be with an in-home sitter for the Spring and then Josh was to quit working and be a stay-at-home dad.

What I have learned from my BIG plans is that nothing is in my control and everything works out for the best even if it wasn't my plan.

1. 2008 came and went and despite walking the block a million times and trying every other labor inducing trick in the book, I was still pregnant as I kissed Josh at midnight on Jan 1. In fact, several more days passed and nothing... My dreams of laboring at home and dashing to the hospital were quickly fading as we headed to our appointment, 2 days overdue. Dr. Smith was adament that we needed to induce the next day. So, I opened my heart to let go of that dream. I still had hopes of having an unmedicated birth and it was good to have a birth date finally.
Josh and I went into the hospital at 4:00am on Jan 6th and they started the pitocin to begin contractions. Dr. Smith came in and broke my water and I labored without incident for several hours. I have to say that the contractions were not unbearable. I was able to breathe and relax due to the yoga, massage, and relaxation techniques I had practiced during pregnancy. However, I wasn't prepared for the nausea and vomiting that soon began. (None of my books had mentioned that lovely side effect.) To counter these symptoms, the nurses gave me nausea medication, but the side effect of that was exhaustion. It is very hard to concentrate on labor pains when you can barely keep your eyes open. So, at 8 cm dialated I finally gave in and received my epidural, and it was a blessing that I did. As I drifted off to sleep allowing my body to finish dialating, it became clear that Lance's head was too big to pass through my pelvis without great risk of distress. So... it was decided that an emergency c-section was needed. Because of my epidural, I was set to go and Josh was able to be in the room. It was amazing to be side awake and yet people were cutting me open and pulling out a baby. Modern medicine really is a miracle. We had our perfect baby boy... My dreams of an unmedicated, natural birth were dashed, but the love of my life had arrived safely. God was in control.
2. Don't believe the books that say that nursing doesn't hurt because it does, at first. Lance is insatiable at times and in the first few days after coming home, the pediatrician suggested that I offer him formula to supplement nursing until my milk production could catch up. I was so worried that he would be spoiled by the easy flow of the bottle and not want to nurse anymore. However, I took the risk. Lance enjoys an occasional bottle, but still nurses furiously (practically all day long). This is a blessing because soon I will go back to work and he is ready to take his expressed milk from a bottle while I'm gone. Once again, God was in control.
3. Kinda like the bottle, I had read that using a pacifier too soon would interfere with breastfeeding, but on the third night in the hospital, Lance was gnawing me something fierce! The nurse brought us a pacifier at my request and he has been hooked ever since. It has been a life saver, but one thing is for sure... when he is hungry, that pacifier is not good enough! God was in control!
4. January and February are prime cold and flu season and the thought of dealing with a sick infant was not high on my list. So, I vowed to keep him quarantined to our home for at least 6 weeks. However, an ice storm at 3 weeks old shut off our power and drove us out of our home for a week. We stayed with my sister and her family. We are very thankful for their generosity and we all got along well. The hacking and coughing of their 2 year old has not seemed to adversely affect Lance, but it sure made me anxious for a week. I have to admit it was really nice to have my sister around to help with Lance and give me baby care advice. God was in control.
5. My original considerations for in-home sitting both became unavailable within the same week before Lance was born, so I started checking out daycares. It was an enlightening experience, but luckily a few days later we found a lady at our church who watches kids at her home who would be available. God was in control. But... then Josh came home early two weeks ago and I knew immediately that he had been laid off. This means that our plans for him to be a stay-at-home dad have been moved up. Financially this will be fine, not ideal, but fine. I just hope and pray that God is in control of my job and keeps me employed!

Despite all the dashed dreams, being a mom has been an incredible experience. Lance fits into our family perfectly. Even the kitty cats like him. I hear him fussing... my work is never done!

Katie

Happenings... An Update

There is a very good explanation for my lapse in blogging. I have had a very interesting couple of weeks, to say the least. Here goes...

I work for a super-regional bank headquartered in the midwest. On Monday, my boss's boss's boss met with me and gave me an official pink slip. I had to work 2 more weeks -- at which time I would be permanently laid off. Aweful but not so bad. Katie and I had planned for me to suspend my career in August so she could work and I could become a "domestic engineer." I will try to find work in the interim since the timing was so surprising, but I plan to stay home and work part time by August.

I do live in Kentucky... Land of bluegrass music, bar-b-que, and lots of ice. My wife and I welcomed in a son January 6. I was laid off January 26. We were homeless refugees January 28. We lost power around 4:30 a.m. Wednesday and moved across town to live with my sister-in-law and her family of 5. Add 2 adults and a screaming baby to the mix and you may just understand how things went. Katie's sister and very gracious to allow us into her home for such a long time. However, a grieving process was occurring, and we were trying to figure out what it meant to be new parents to Lance. What a week!

It is now Thursday. I have 2 more days of work with my bank. My layoff is not such a stress anymore. Lance is doing very well, as you can witness through the above photos. We moved back home on Tuesday. We have grieved together and apart. Lance will be 1 month old tomorrow. Katie will return to work when he is 7 weeks old. Ice is melted. Warm weather will be here this weekend. I will officially start my role as a stay-at-home dad on Tuesday when my wife and I will share the responsibility. Things are looking up.